Random thought

Sometimes, when I am unable to think coherently on my own, I can find inspiration elsewhere in other people's words.  The following is a response to someone else's thoughts.

I strongly believe that people are more similar than they are different.  Everyone yearns.  Although the object of what we desire may manifest differently, I believe we all want the same things:  Acceptance, Love, and to a lesser extent, Beauty.  I think some people may pervert the desire for acceptance into a desire for power, respect, sex, and money... but those things are all rooted in a need to be accepted and loved and approved of.  (Power and respect can be further broken down into such things as knowledge, reputation, dream jobs/bustling careers, fancy cars, expensive homes, perfect families, and more)

I think about how the Bible says that all have fallen short of the glory of God, and I know in context it is talking about something else.  But there are so many other ways to read it and read it as truth.  We have fallen short.  We have fallen out.  We are far from Him, whom we need.  We do not only need a Saviour, but we need a Father who loves us, accepts us, and approve of us.  There are those who would run away from such love, convinced by a lie that He does not exist.  Then, there are those who would ignore such love, convinced by a lie that His love is not enough for us... and thusly they are in desperate need of companionship, a lover, a help-meet.  And then there are those who just don't know the depth of His love, not because they do not believe in Him, nor because they are unconvinced that He is sufficient, but because they simply have not sought out the depths of His love.  The pursuit has not been persistant.  It is not because they do not believe God is able, but it is because they are unhappy with the timetable in which God will respond to their pursuit.  This is where I find myself.  I believe with all my heart that my God is enough for me.  But I have selfishly looked to temporary, counterfeit sources of acceptance, love and beauty, solely because I was too impatient to seek Him out and wait for the results.

I need Jesus.

And i need to repent of being so impatient with my God, that I would try to make Him work in my timetable. 

 

 

Maybe if we all started pursuing Jesus with the same tenacity that we pursue our women, money, and careers, we would all be in a very different place. 

 

 

*Supersized*
(edit)

*End Edit* (and if that isn't big enough, I'll blow them up to the original size)

Pancakes

I do not know why I am writing another fluff entry; I only know that
I cannot write anything of more substance at the moment.  To use
an analogy, it's as if the only thing I am capable of cooking right now
are fluffy pancakes, drizzled with syrup and strawberries and covered
in cream.  Sure, it's nice every once in awhile, but too much will
make you sick.

The thing is, I know I can make more than pancakes.  I've done
it before.  But the neurotransmitters that transport me to the
part of my brain where jambalaya, chicken and chinese mushrooms, and
odiferous curry lay hidden have been compromised like a bridge washed
out by a flood.  I remain separated from those treasures, staring
out across a vast impasse, yearning for the day I will be reunited with
those lost thoughts.  My only companion is a pile of pancakes at
my side, its overflowing maple syrup slowly crawling towards me and
climbing into my shoes.

Here are some pancakes for you.

*******

I have always enjoyed beauty, but I have not always been able to
appreciate it.  Some things are easy to get: Rainbows, sunsets,
flowers, girls.  It doesn't take a genius to appreciate the beauty
of such things.  But other things, like opera, modern art
sculptures, and Lindsay Lohan are just out of my reach.  It takes
great effort on my part to appreciate them at all.  Most of the
time, I would rather concede that it takes more work than it is worth
to enjoy it, and thusly, I leave it alone.  So therefore, when I
went to the Smithsonian Museum of Art last week with my old housemate,
I wasn't really expecting to have a great time.  But lo and
behold, I was absolutely wrong.

Take for instance, Monet.  The guy is a classical
painter.  He paints good stuff.  It looks nice. 
Yay.  So what?  But as I looked closer (and farther) at these
paintings of his, I saw something that I was never able to see from a
replication/poster/photo.  I saw depth.  I saw more than a
two dimensional painting... it was a vision.  I saw the scene
through the eyes of a genius.  I learned from grade school that
the guy uses dots and short strokes to create a scene, but I wasn't
able to appreciate it until I saw it person.  Dots and
tittles!  He made a masterpiece out of that!  It's like
taking a bunch of ones and zeroes and making...say, an alternate
reality universe called a Matrix.  It totally blew my mind into
the 21st century.

I saw other things, including some Picasso, and some sculptures, and
even a modern art exhibit (outside the Holocaust museum) that I started
to "get."  I would go into more detail, but I don't know how many
of my readers actually care about art, so I'll just bag it to go. 
It's time for pancakes.

One of my favorite exhibits at the museum was a series of paintings called The Voyage of Life,
by Thomas Cole.  It absolutely captured my attention and
amazement.  I enjoyed it so much more when I was able to look at
it, interpret it, and then read a description about the painting and
what it meant.  I took pictures of the series so I could share
with you here, but as I have learned this past weekend, there is
absolutely no comparison between a photograph and the real thing. 
There is so much detail lost in translation.  Sorry.  I guess
you'll just have to go see it yourself.

 

 

The Voyage of Life: Childhood

 

 

The Voyage of Life: Youth

 

 

The Voyage of Life: Manhood

 

 

The Voyage of Life:Old Age

 

Check here to see a different set of reproductions

I must have been there for 20 minutes, admiring and
introspecting.  Finally, my old housemate came along and admired
with me.  He asked me where I was in those paintings.  I told
him that I am set squarely in the Manhood painting struggling and
despairing like that man.  Even so, I look back to
Youth, and try to believe that there is a castle and an adventure to be
had.  I am unable to let that go.  When I am not looking back
to youth, I am looking forward to Old Age:  Salvation - freedom
from the trials and despair.  It is truly despairing to spend any
amount of time in the manhood portion of this voyage. 

I realised later, upon reflection, that what I ought to be doing
right now is praying like the figure in the painting.  When all is
lost and gone, I cannot look to the past nor hope for the end, I must
look to my Saviour and depend on Him.

I asked my housemate where he was on that voyage.  He is on the
cusp of starting his career, leaving home and going to a place
that he never expected to be.  He told me that he was still in the
Youth leg of the voyage, but that Manhood is coming up soon.

I wonder, I wonder.  I wonder what it will look like for
him.  I wonder if he will struggle like I am struggling now, and
struggle like my big bro Chris struggled before me.  I wonder if
all people go through such phases.  I wonder if there is supposed
to be an in-between painting between Manhood and Old age - a painting
that shows more than despair and being lost.  I wonder if there is
a castle, a real castle that was not illustrated and can be
found.  I wonder if that path in Youth would have really taken me
to that vaporous castle in the sky.  What would it have been
like?  Would it have been any better... or just as bad?  Is
it too late for me to turn around?  Should I turn around?  Or
maybe I should just stop pretending to be steering this boat, let go of
the rudder and lift my hands up in prayer.  Is there something to
hope for?  I know what the Christian answer is.  But still, I
wonder...

 

Where were they going without ever knowing the way?

 

 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
(Proverbs 19:21, NIV).

Spontaneity

...can be fun

 

 

I went to visit my old roomie!

 

 

It was like flowers and happy songs all over again...

  
Salmon, from the National Botanical Gardens

 

 
Madagascar Periwinkle, from the National Botanical Gardens

 

*Disclaimer: Chrispy, this does not make me gay.  Thank you.  =Þ*

 

More to come...

 

Reunited and it feels so good

 

*Edit*

I was wrong.  Terribly wrong.  It's bad out here.  Where I live, it was just the tip of the iceburg.  Elsewhere, there are hundreds of people who have lost their homes.  Some were washed away by the floods.  Quite a few exploded because of gas/oil tanks in their homes sprung a leak.  Most of them were submerged and condemned by the government.  They can't live there anymore.  They can't even go back in to their homes.  People have lost all of their worldly possessions.  Cars, photos, memories, books,.. everything.  It's terrible.

The local church has been spearheading efforts to help people clean out their homes before they get bulldozed down (if they don't clear them out, they will be fined by the government.)  They aren't salvaging goods.  They're just cleaning out the junk and putting it on the curb to be thrown away.  It sucks.  A lot.  My heart hurts for them.  I am riddled with guilt for trying to diminish the effects of the flood.  Clearly, I only saw a small portion of it.  It was as bad as they said it was. 

It is the biggest diaster to hit Broome County. 

I wish I could say more.  But I have no more words to offer.  Sorry for misleading you to think that people were okay when it was exactly the opposite.

---

 

 

Sensationalism

After reading about the floods in the news this morning, I was actually leaning towards believing that something bad was going on in my town.  Normally, I don't give my notice to disaster warnings, because like most people, I tend to think, "that won't happen to me."  However, when I saw that there was a state of emergency declared and that the news was calling it "record flooding" and that my street was named for evacuation, I started to get a little concerned.  I left work to come back home to check things out, and things looked... normal.  In fact, by the time I got home, it was sunny outside and people were sitting on their porch chilling.  I saw people biking.  I saw people walking their dogs.  I saw couples pushing their kids on strollers and having a great time.  Somewhat in disbelief, I checked back with the latest news to see how bad things were.  Well, according to the news, things were pretty bad and possibly getting worse.  Some bridge collasped and somewhere, a dam broke.  "Ok," I thought.  "Maybe I should go take a look to see how bad things are at the river."  Maybe it's just about to crest and totally flood the area.  I made a danger map just before I left and brought my camera along with me.

As it turns out, it was a pretty bad flood.  Cars were submerged in some locations and some people's homes were under water.  But it was nowhere as bad as some news sources were saying it was. Mandatory evacuation of 15,000 people in the city of Binghamton?  That seems a little excessive to me.  Perhaps there was the potential of the flood affecting that many people, but I don't think it was nearly that bad.  And I dont think it ever got that bad. 

Check this excerpt from CNN

About 80 miles upstream in Binghamton, New York, the Susquehanna spilled into city streets, covering cars, flooding homes and prompting a mandatory evacuation of as many as 15,000 residents, officials said.

James Adams was one of those. He evacuated his family's home near Binghamton after he and relatives watched their shed float away and their cars become submerged, the AP reported.

"We lost just about everything -- the cars, the clothes, even the baby's crib," he said. "I'm not sure what we are going to do."

Gov. George Pataki ordered 125 National Guard troops to Binghamton, and Mayor Matthew Ryan said the Susquehanna was expected to rise another 5 feet by Thursday. (Watch floodwaters threaten homes -- 1:11)

 

While this is all true, it doesn't paint a very balanced picture.  But fair and balanced news reporting isn't exactly something we really expect any more, is it?

Well, I dont think I have what it takes to change the face of the news, but at least I can throw out some photos that may paint an interesting picture.  I'm somewhat proud of these photos.  I think they capture enough that they are on par with the type of photos you may find on CNN or some other lame news source.  Let me know what you think.  Professional enough?  Advice is welcome.  I'm looking at you, Diana.  Thanks.




3 men outside the Robertson museum assess the damage to the car and the building.

The flood waters were so deep in this parking lot that this car eventually became completely submerged.

The parking lot Roberson musuem, where my former housemate Dave used to work, is completely submerged, picnic tables and all.




Onlookers at a nearby bridge chat about the height of the river.  The bridge they are standing on was soon to be cleared out, while the bridge in the background remained open through the day.




Officer _______ looks on as he controls traffic and holds back the onlookers from entering into flooded areas.




The riverwalk park by the lighted bridge has been complete covered.




Treetops and lampposts barely peak out of the water from in the park




The riverwalk footbridge was closed to the public.  The footbridge was also closed in the floods of April 2005.





Many pedestrians came out to take photos and enjoy the otherwise good weather.




A couple go for a walk after having toured the local flooded areas.




Despite a state of emergency in the city of Binghamton where non-emergency vehicles are banned from usage, the US postal service continues to serve the public and deliver mail, while the city's garbage and recycling remain unattended to.




A million dollar house is submerged in water as its residents discuss what to do.




<insert your own caption here>




Local children skip rocks in the newly formed lake in their front yard.




A few men recognise the irony of the situation.




Many couples and local residents come out to enjoy the riverwalk view, which is almost completely covered.  The river level has risen over 20 feet at this location, covering the walkways below the guardrails.




The stairs that lead down to the riverwalk have vanished under the swirling waters.  The crest of the water is only inches away from overflowing this final barrier.  If that had happened, the entire business district of downtown Binghamton would have been in danger of flooding.



Ha.  The funny thing is, after going through those photos, I can see how easy it is to make a dark and negative picture of the event.  Realistically, the atmosphere out there was pretty fun as I took my walk.  People were out with the families and kids and taking pictures.  It was like a sunny Saturday, and it was quite festive.  Many people didn't have to work today and spent the time with family and friends.  Maybe it was worse in other areas, but where I am, it wasn't too bad at all.  A couple of roads got washed out.  A couple of bridges went under.  And a few homes were submerged.  I also heard that a hospital got flooded and was evacuated, but I didn't walk that far today.

Anyways, the important thing is, I'm safe where I am.  The water level would have to rise another 20 feet for me to get affected, and that is highly unlikely.   Thanks for your concern.  I'm glad to be home and not homeless.

floods

this morning's events

7:35am: *Thinks it's Thursday.*  Thinks to self: Heeeeeey... just two more days to go.  Not bad.
7:40am: *Realizes it's Wednesday*   Thinks to self: Doh!  This sucks... a LOT.
7:45am:  *Gets in car for work*  Thinks to self:  I'm late... again.
7:46am:  *turns on the radio* ....And Binghamton is in a state of emergency... non-emergency vehicles are not allowed on the road....  Thinks to self: Eh. 
That probably doesn't apply to me.  My boss will yell at me if I
don't get to work.  *Drives a little faster*  At least there
isn't much traffic.
7:59am:  *Drives by baseball field*  Thinks to self:  Where did this lake come from?
8:01am:  *Receives text message about flooding*  Thinks to self: Is it really that bad?
8:05am:  *Arrives at work*  Thinks to self: Hmm... why are all these people standing outside?
8:07am: 
After talking to several co-workers about the severity of the flooding,
I realise my home might be evacuated.  I go online to
check.   My area is being evacuated.  I see that power
is going to be cut from my area.  Thinks to self: I have to blog about this now.  Then, I should go home, save anything that is on the floor, and find a new place to live. 
8:08am - 8:25am:  *Blogs on xanga*

Check it out here.

This is what applies to me.

If you have a home I can move into, please call me.  Broadband iInternet connection is preferred.  Thanks.

 

 

 

Superman, where are you?

*UPDATE*

So I'm home now, and things look ok.  The river is really
just around the corner, but the cops haven't told me to leave my house
yet.  I looked closer at the news report to figure out how much
danger I am in, and I tried to map out the flood zones.  Safe so
far.  I think I'm going to go out and take a walk around and grab
some pictures...

Here's the danger map I made,
based on my news resources.  Question marks are areas that are
mentioned, but not specifically designated as closed roads or evac
zones.

first things first

Thank you to Dennis and Lisa for hosting us strapping  young men for our fishing adventure this weekend.  We all had a great time and we are very appreciative of your friendship, joy and hospitality.  I am glad to have gotten to know you and your family a little better this weekend.  Looking forward to seeing y'all again.

 

the fishing trip

Chris has already blogged a little bit about our adventure.  I do not feel compelled to say anymore, except that Chris, Chris, Dennis, and I were all standing in a line when a whole school of fish passed right by us.  Everyone got a bite at the same time and we each pulled in a fish simultaneously!  And when I say everyone, I mean everyone except for me.  I somehow missed out on that one.  Our group of 8 caught 4 fish, all of which were acquired within the first 20 minutes.  The rest of the 3.5 hours we were out were spent discussing how waterproof our jackets weren't.  Nevertheless, we had fun.  Enough that I will go again.

What I lacked in catching, I made up for in cooking.  The 4 fish were enough to feed 9 people with leftovers.  If I had remembered to hand out bread, I would have called it the miracle of Alban.  I want to make a joke about the leftovers being a testimony to how much the cooking was lacking, which is exactly the type of joke my friend Erick would make, but truthfully, I think it came out ok.  I guess when you add enough oil and garlic, even I can't screw it up.  It was also the freshest fish I ever ate.  I'm sure that helped as well.

 

the number one

Dave, my housemate, left on Sunday morning for New Jersey.  It will be several weeks before he comes back.  Even then, it will only be for a day so he can pick up more stuff as he moves out.  I guess this is all pretty sudden for me.  Mostly, because I didn't know that he was moving out until two weeks ago.  But, to be fair, he only found out about his new job two and half weeks ago, so it wasn't a part of some nefarious plot to undermine my sanity.  It wasn't too hard coming home to an empty house last night, but I suspect it will grow increasingly worse over the next few months.

It seems like the last 6 months have been characterised by me letting go of, or being let go by, extremely significant cogs in my life.  I don't know what God is doing, but it certainly hasn't been easy.  I remember jokingly telling Dave back in January that if he found a job that would force him to move out, I'd be so devastated that I would be married within weeks.  Just like that.  I'd find something that moves, go to Massachusetts and get it done.  Bang bang bahhhh!!  I am glad that I don't feel that way anymore... at least not as strongly.  Although I am tempted to find another room mate, the thought of finding another good one is daunting.  I'm considering eating the cost of rent and living alone... alone... alone.  Is there an echo in here?  hahaha.  This will be a difficult time of transition.

As we were fishing on Saturday, I recalled this comic that I had read way back in the day.  Then I found another one just like it.  Here they are:

 

 

Needless to say, I didn't catch anything over the weekend.

While we're on the subject...

 

married folk

I had a talk with Lisa on Saturday night about married life and such.  I wondered again about what I should be looking for.  Someone different?  Someone similar?  I know the basics:  Christian, female, honest, trustworthy, dependable, God-fearing and God-worshipping...etc.  You know, the normal stuff.  Of course, there are also personality things to look for: Fun, funny, adventurous, can handle my craziness well.  But how much more should I expect before I am asking for too much?  I'd like someone with similar financial goals and responsibilities.  I'd like someone who likes children and has strong family values.  I'm looking for a partner in life and possibly a partner in ministry - someone who will either have equal devotion to ministry or at least support me in those endeavours.  These seem reasonable.  Can I ask for more?  It seems like strong couples have something they really connect on or share similar passions for: poetry, music, travelling, atheletics, writing... something... right?  Is this true?  And if it is, how important is it?  I'm specifically asking the married people here (but unmarried can comment as well.)  I'm not asking if you have to have ALL of the same interests -- that is improbable and possibly unhealthy.  But shouldn't there be something that you both enjoy deeply and connect on?  Is that fair or would that be asking for too much?

Can you have a marriage with all the basic stuff without having common areas of passion?  I wish I knew how to ask what I want to ask, but I'm not sure it's coming out right.  I guess I'll just gauge the response and correct as needed.  Let me know what you think.

As an aside that I may or may not come back to, I just wanted to share a quote from another blog entry I happened across:

Words are the bait, and ideas are the hook.  What does anyone want more than to know and be known?

Additionally, I particularly enjoyed this paragraph:

I know a lot of beautiful women, but what catches my eye more quickly and surely than a pretty face is a knowing glance or tiny smile that tells me she gets it. Some off-hand remarks or inside jokes -- some strung-together words -- that show we're on the same page, that prove my thoughts aren't bouncing off the surface but penetrating the dark, secret place wherein she hides.

Wise counsel; subtle wit; easy laughter; sly, sparkling glances that scream I know! -- these are love to me.

 

That's all I have to say about that.

 

Superman

...is coming.  I haven't written it yet, so... give me some time.  I gotta get to my laundry tonight.

Enduring patience is the most difficult type of patience of all.

Good Friday

Mary:
My Son... when, where, how... will You choose to be delivered of this?

This line, from The Passion of the Christ,
stuck out to me when I first saw it.  It helped me to see more
clearly that Jesus was not just sent to die, but that He chose it
willingly.  He chose the path of surrender.  He chose to
submit to His Father's will.

True, at any time He could have called down 10,000 angels to deliver
Himself.  He could have chosen the easy way out.  He could
have become King immediately, and rightfully so, as it was His right
and His place to be ruler of all.  But He gave up that which was
promised to Him and instead took the pain of humiliation, torture, and abandonement. 

He chose the cross.  He became the face of shame.

Pastor Doug exhorted the men at men's group this past week to praise the man
Jesus.  He asked us to focus on the Son of Man, as opposed to the
Son of God.  My response was:

"I praise you Jesus for your courage
and your faithfulness.  You have been an example for us all."

and just for the record, just so you know, i did not believe, that you could sink so low

"If I believe in a perfect God, then I am forced to believe that He will use imperfect people perfectly."