Whenever we talk about forgiveness, we usually talk about how it’s important that we give it.  How it’s necessary for us to move on with our lives and to release our hearts from the pain of the past.  I still remember a post from my friend Patty who said that “Unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.” It’s so true.  Holding on to anger, hatred or bitterness can only hurt ourselves.  The other person, if his conscience will allow him, goes on scott-free.

We also talk about how it is necessary for reconciliation and for making peace. Sometimes forgiveness is given for the sake of the family.  For the sake of friends.  For the sake of children.  But we never really feel compelled to give it.  It’s just… necessary.

The thing with forgiveness is that in many cases, it isn’t really deserved.  In order for us to forgive, we have to overlook our desire for justice and give reprieve to someone who hasn’t earned it.  Who may not actually deserve it.  But we are told to forgive anyways.  If we are Christians, we are called to forgive, to emulate our Lord.

Many Christians aren’t very good at this.

I’ve talked recently about the importance of remembering who we are. Of remembering that we have all screwed up, and are screwing up still.  We can’t help it.  We’re not perfect.  We hurt people whether we intend it, realize it, or work to avoid it.  It doesn’t matter.  The only way to avoid pain and causing pain is to become reclusive.  But even that is not fully true; there is a cost to those you have left behind. I simply can’t think of a way in which we can avoid causing harm and making mistakes.

So if we are to remember who we are, we must then remember that we have been forgiven much.  If we have been forgiven much, we then should love much.

I think of all the wrongs I have committed in my life. I remember all the hurts I have caused.  And I pause to shudder at all the hurts I have caused without ever being aware of it.  Over the years, I have undeservingly benefitted from the innumerable gifts of grace and forgiveness that have covered over a lifetime of my mistakes.  It is my heart’s desire to continue this great tradition by showing similar kindness, forgiveness and patience in all circumstances, at all times, to all peoples.

I know that there are some pretty awful people you’ve come across in your life.  And there were also some less awful, but severely annoying/frustrating/degrading people you’ve had the misfortune of having to spend some time with you.  It’s hard, I know.  It’s easier to hold on to the anger because you don’t think that they deserve your forgiveness.  But I leave you with this: “Such were some of you,” goes the saying.  And continues with, “But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Forgiveness is not about giving someone something they have earned.  Forgiveness is about acknowledging the person deserves justice, or anger, or a strong talking to, but you let them off the hook anyways.  You let it slide.

And in doing so, you let yourself off the hook too.

Remember the kindness that was shown to you.  It may have been few and far between.  But it may have also been one of the best gifts you ever received in your life.  And I suspect, it may be one of the best gifts you can ever give too.