Good morning everybody!  I'm taking a short break from intense dialogue for a little interlude.

A song from Singapore... for a friend in Singapore

About a year ago, I made a resolution to start doing things that I knew I was capable of, but was afraid to do because I was afraid of failure.  One of those things was to sing in public.  I grew up knee deep in music, but since college, I have done very little.  I had always kept high standards for myself, so hearing myself perform now has been disappointing to say the least.  However, I believed that music is a powerful tool and an incredible form of communication.  Even when it isn't done well, it still says something.  So I broke the ice and recorded a song.  Then I published it on the internet.  Thankfully, it went mostly unnoticed.

A few months later, this conversation transpired:

Friend: I heard your song on the internet!  It's quite good.
Me:  What?  what are you talking about?
Friend:  I heard a recording of you singing "He knows my name," on your website.
Me:  Oh my gosh... how did you find that?
Friend:  My friend from England emailed it to me.
Me:  England?!  Are you serious?
Friend:  Yup.
Me (doing my best Keanu impression):  ...Whoa...  I've gone platinum...

Since then, I haven't done much recording or any guitar playing for that matter.  Well, not until now, anyways.

I started picking up the guitar again last week after a long hiatus.  I wanted to do something better with my "settling down time" at the end of the day before going to bed, and I decided that spending time focusing on God was better than reading xanga.  (Sorry folks.  I'll read your stuff when I'm at work. --j/k boss)  

Anyways, I read a xanga post from a friend in Singapore which reminded me of a song I learned while in Australia from a friend who came from Singapore.  Got all that?

I had just started to learn the guitar while in Australia and I wanted to learn some songs to take home to play and practice.  On the last night I was in Australia, my friend and I stayed up till the early hours of the morning singing and recording songs to tape.  This was one of my favorite songs from the night.  It's called "No Eye has seen."  I do not know who wrote it.  I have yet to meet another person who has even heard of this song.


Since xanga has this nifty audio feature now, I decided to make use of it and share this song with you.

This song is a conversation between a person and God.  S/he questions Him about his/her purpose in life... and wonders what is going on.  Here are the lyrics:


No eye has seen
by unknown

Person:
No eye has seen, no ear has heard
the goodness the Lord
has prepared for those
who wait on Him to hear His voice
"I am the potter and You are the clay."

Jesus take me in Your hand
and make me
all that you want me to be.
Jesus help me understand
my purpose and what
you can do through me,
fulfilling my destiny.

God:
No eye has seen, no ear has heard
the goodness that
I have prepared for you
who wait on me, to hear my voice
I am the potter and
you are the clay.

Let me take you in my hand
and make you
all that I want you to be.
I will help you understand
your purpose and what
you will do in me,
fulfilling your destiny.


I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did when I first heard it.  Feel free to leave any comments to encourage or educate.  Thanks.

---

Musical notes, for those who are interested:
I am still quite new at guitar playing, which limits me in the types of sound I can produce.  Essentially, I have two abilities: picking chords and strumming chords.  I can't really do much beyond that.  Since I decided that the song was too short to sing through just once, I decided to use finger picking for the first iteration and strumming for the second time around.  This helped to keep the song moving without getting too repetitive.

Lyrically, I had a problem with simply singing the song through twice.  Since this is supposed to be a conversation between man and God, why would they say the exact same thing over and over again?  I thought about this as I played through a couple of times and I soon began to realise that it is not uncommon for God to have to repeat Himself to us time and time again.  We are a stiff-necked and stubborn people, and we surely do not learn things the first time around.  By this logic, I could reconcile having the conversation twice, but from two different perspectives.  

The first time through, I used the softness of the fingerpicking to show the quiet despair of a person seeking for an answer.  I tried to reflect that quiet despair in my voice, but I'm afraid that it came out as a cross between whiny and emo.  I'm not sure.  To counter the frailty and uncertainty of the man, I tried to portray God's response as strong and confident.  I find that sometimes God counters fear and uncertainty with strength and unwavering support.

The second time through, I was already committed to strumming chords, therefore, I was committed to a stronger sound.  I wanted to portray that the second time the conversation was held from a perspective of a person who was more confident in himself, and was asking, almost demanding God for an answer.  He is almost saying, "What is my destiny?  How will I make a name for myself?  When will I finally do great things and find pleasure in my work?"  Although these can be just questions when asked with the right motive, I think the sound I achieved was a person who was asking with a bit of pride.  He wants to be known.

The God response the second time around is softer.  Quieter.  I think of the soft whispers in which God sometimes speaks to us.  I find that when He speaks in soft whispers, we have to work harder to hear His voice.  It is a subtle reminder that it isn't about us, but rather it is about what God has planned for us.  We must be willing to let go of dreams we have if we truly desire to pursue the plans that God has made for us.  "He must increase, but I must decrease."

I recorded this song directly onto my computer using free programs I found on the internet.  I used the microphone from a headphone/microphone combo that I used for online gaming.  I have no idea what the technical specifications are for it, only that it wasn't designed for music.  I'm almost certain that this has no stereo qualities.  I only know how to record on one track.  I have no editing equipment, so it had to be done all in one shot.  There are plenty of mistakes in this that I wish I could take back, but after many different takes, I found this one to be most representative of the sound I was trying to achieve.

Again, any suggestions and advice are welcome.  Thanks for listening.

*Edit*

Ok.  I realise now that this is a much bigger question than I
thought.  That's probably why I had so much trouble pondering it
on my own.  So I think we need to redefine the original
question.  To do that, I'm going to share with you the
conversation that sparked this line of thought, and you can help me out
from there. 

Me: Why do you do what you do?
Her: I don't know.  What are you talking about?
Me: Why do you pray?  Why do you think drinking is bad?  Why do you try to obey the ten commandments?
Her: I don't know.... because that's what the Bible says.
Me: Why do you do what the Bible says?
Her: ....Because it makes God happy.... 
Me: Do you think God is any less happy if you don't do those things?
Her: ...Yes...
Me: Do you think you are responsible for His happiness?
Her: ...Yes... no... maybe...
Me: Do you think He loves you any less?
Her: No....  uh... is there a right answer to all of this?
Me: No.

As we conversed about this, I wondered if there really was a right
answer to why we do the things we do (if there is one, I haven't found
it yet).  If a person's reason for following the Bible is to "make
God happy," ultimately, that person is just another "people pleaser"
towards a divine demander .  How is that any different from a
non-Christian who does things to please a parent, or a wife, or a
boyfriend or a boss?  A people pleaser finds security in the
conditional acceptance and approval of the one being pleased (I may be
answering my own question here).  So if a Christian is just a
glorified people pleaser, how is he or she any different? 
Ultimately, how are Christians any different than non-Christians in
doing the things that they do?

Take another scenario.  You have Sally Joe Christian who is
going to church and swearing off dancing because she is afraid that she
will be condemned by God and condemned to hell.  You could say the
fear of condemnation is a reverse form of people pleasing (she's still
finding security in conditional acceptance), or you could say that she
is motivated by the fear of punishment (self-preservation).  Well,
you don't have to be a Christian to be motivated by
self-preservation.  That doesn't make a Christian any different.

Or you can look at Ricky Sue Christian, who is following the Bible
because he believes it is the ultimate truth.  He has made the law
of the Bible the first and final authority in his life.  What the
Bible says, he does.  It's a high form of legalism and blind
faith.  How is that any different than non-Christian idealists/
purists, who commit their whole lives to a doctrine, like communism
or   fill in the blank  ?  I don't know.

You can easily find people without a specified faith working for
human rights, or environmental preservation, or curing diseases, and
they will tell you that they do what they do "to make the world a
better place."  And if you ask Christians who are doing the same
thing, they may give the exact same answer....appended with statements
like "for the sake of the Kingdom" or "so they will know saving faith
through Jesus Christ."

So, ultimately, I think I'm asking, "how are Christians motivated
any differently from the rest of the world?"  I think that's what
I'm pondering.  And although I have some thoughts bouncing around
in my head, I can't quite put them into words just yet.  So I'm
putting this out here for you in the hopes that it will foster some
discussion and get some people thinking.

Because many heads are better than one, right?

Well, usually, anyways. =P  Let's get this baby cracking.

*/End Edit*

---

Hopefully, this will be a precursor to a more in-depth post, which I
think will foster quite a bit of discussion.  I have been
wrestling with something in my head for the past few weeks and I can't
quite make heads or tails of it yet.  So I'm coming to the xanga
community for some help. 

Question:

What motivates people?

I know there must be several different schools of thought regarding
motivation.  I've heard bits and pieces of those schools of
thought.  For example, the school of fear: fear of failure,
rejection, etc.  Another school of thought was that people were
motivated by "cooperation, competition, and creation," with creation
being the highest, but rarest form of motivation, and cooperation being
the most common, but least effective form.   A third line of
thought comprises of people-pleasers and self-indulgers.

I am curious about the different schools of thought.  What are
they?  What do they think is the root of motivation in
people?  If you don't know what the different schools of thought
are, then I am interested in what you personally think motivates
people.  What is your take?

Go!

 

I'm probably alone on this one

*Edit* I should clarify.  I do not own one.  I just lust after one. Thank you.

But I just got introduced to the Kitchenaid for the first time, and I am fiercely battling kitchen-lust.

This thing is a beast... 325 Watt mixer... 10 speeds... and did you see those attachments?  Pastamaker, meat grinder, icecream maker, bread maker... this is all for one machine?  GAH!!!

With a good set of knives, a set of pots and pans, and THIS, what more will I ever need?

*sigh*

Whatever thought process I had for work has been completely derailed.  I am undone.

It is the beginning of January and it's 56 degrees and sunny
out.  It is absolutely gorgeous and totally uncharacteristic of
Binghamton.  If this is the result of global warming, then I think
it's about time I did my part. 

I should purchase an SUV.

Making the world a "better" place, one blunder at a time.

As an artist, or rather, an untrained artist trapped inside the body of an engineer, it pains me to continue sharing sunset pictures such as these for fear of being labelled as a one trick pony.  I'd hate to become "that guy" who does "the thing."  You know what I mean?  But I saw this sunset outside as I was walking down the hall, and I couldn't resist stopping there and daydreaming.  For a few moments, I imagined what it would be like to work on my own land, farming my own fields and have the opportunity to watch the sun go down every day.  And then, to call over my wife and kids to stand and watch the scene with me.  I imagined myself singing some old folksy tune softly as my youngest daughter joined along with me.  And as the color began to fade away from the canvas of the sky, I'd turn my kids back towards the house and say out loud, "Today was a good day."

I find that working in an office deprives me of opportunities that used to be enjoyed by every person, every day.  I feel disconnected with God's creation sitting at my desk... answering phones and responding to emails.  I imagine that even 100 years ago, people would spend times like this with their family and reflect over the good things of the day and smile with gratitude. <Begin aside> And that's a big word for me - gratitude.  I think there isn't nearly enough of it today.  Without dipping into the thoughts reserved for another post, I think the lack of gratitude is a major cause of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.  </aside>.  I compare the loss of this daily experience to missing a free concert or a free artshow that is held daily.  And daily, each performance is different, yet equally captivating as the one held the night before.  I'd hate to be that guy who sits at his desk and misses the concert every single night.  I wouldn't be able to stand it.  And if you were sitting in the office next to me, I wouldn't let you miss it either.

That's why I post these pictures.  Beauty is meant to be shared.  <Begin aside> I have a whole post inside me about sharing beauty... but I'll have to save it for another time.</aside>  If I get labelled as "that guy who only takes pictures of sunsets," so be it.  It's more important to me that something worth appreciating got passed on.

I know it's not much; it's a poor imitation of the real thing.  But I think it's enough to remind you of what's out there.  I hope you make the time to enjoy the beauty that is available to you.  And I hope you also smile with gratitude.

If I ever decide to become a writer, or if I can sell my ideas to someone to write it for me, I would write these two books:

Unlimited Human Potential, Incredible Dreams and the Search for
Destiny: The Modern Day Mortar and Stone for a Second Tower of
Babel

and

Under Your Nose: How the breakdown of the family unit has led to the fall of society

 

**Edit**
ehh...maybe I'll do a third one, since I'm having trouble finding books on this particular topic

Living in Community: Work together or die

Work is sucking all the creativity out of me.

It's not that I'm understimulated and bored out of my mind.  It's actually the contrary.  I've been very busy and as a result, every creative thought that has been developing in my mind since morning usually gets thrown to the wayside by lunch.  I'm too mentally drained to put my thoughts into words, and even if I could, I need my lunch break to rest my brain.  This, in conjunction with a desire to maintain high production values on my site (which are currently unattainable by my lack of time and energy to compose a well thought out post), has severely limited my ability to publish.

As a result, I am going to try something new:  Shorter posts with less developed thoughts.  Maybe the readers can fill in the gaps.  If you would be so kind, please let me know what you think.

---

I first read John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress on the plane ride home from Australia.  My pastor in Australia had recommended it to me as an allegory of the gospel.  (He also teased me because I always carried a large backpack wherever I went.  I carried a "burden" like Christian in the novel.)  The story of how it was written enticed me: John Bunyan was thrown in prison and denied access to a Bible.  Because he had no Bible to read, he wrote this book... both to remind himself of the Bible and to share the gospel with others in allegory form.  (Readers, this is where I need you.  Please verify if this story is true.)  It was a neat book and I enjoyed it. 

When I began this xanga-blog, I named it Pilgrim's Progress, partly after this book, and partly because of my interest in Pilgrim verses in the Bible.  One of those verses is displayed in my banner above.  Here is the other one I know of (reader, if you know any more, please let me know):

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

- Hebrews 11: 13-16

There are so many things that I can say about this passage:  I can talk about how incredibly blessed and encouraged I am by these examples of faith who persisted in their faith despite never receiving the things they were promised... and how I want to be like them.  I can talk about how I have never fit in well with the people around me, and have felt like a stranger and alien on earth.  Truly, my desire to live out my faith has alienated me from many people, even those I have called friends.  I can talk about the hope for something better; A hope that outreaches the limited-in-scope-hopes people have for things like i-pods, 6-figure salaries, and successful careers.  Oh... I could talk at length about what it means to look for a country of their own...

So, here is where I need you most.  What do you relate to in this passage?  What imagery does it evoke in you?  Does this passage make your heart beat a little faster?  Do you feel like an invitation has been made to you to leave behind some of the ordinary in pursuit of what God has prepared for you?  I would love to hear your thoughts and I will eagerly respond to them.... because responding to comments is so much easier than writing a well crafted post.  Thanks in advance...

3 cheers for audience participation...

House keeping

A new prayer letter is up.  If you're new to my site and you're wondering what this is about or why you can't see it, you can read this explanation.

*******

I have discovered that when I update regularly, and have lots of pictures of Chris Russo, my traffic increases significantly.  Just another piece of evidence showing that sex sells.  This means my traffic will probably drop this week, because I'm taking a Russo break.  I am Chris-hausted.  I see the guy enough during the week.  Now I have to see his face everytime I come to my xanga site?  No way.  I'm reclaiming my space.  Of course, I'll reconvene the Chris-bonanza next week with pictures (and stories) from our trip to the corn maze, and pictures of him dressed up in costume.  But right now, I need to take a hiatus from Mr. Pantene Pro-V.

*******

I've tried to initiate discussions in the past on my xanga site regarding some topics I was thinking of.  Sometimes they worked, but usually not so well.  I'm thinking about giving it another shot.

I overheard a conversation recently regarding sex education.  One person said that she wanted to teach her kids about sex because she didn't trust the school to do a good job of it.  She also stated that she would want to teach them young because if she didn't, her kids would learn from other kids, since they're getting familiar with sex these days at a really young age.  However, she said that she wouldn't get into too much detail.  She stated that she wouldn't teach her kid how to use a condom, etc. because it would be condoning pre-marital sex.  A second person agreed with her up to this point, but disagreed about not showing the kid how to use a condom.  He felt that teaching his kid how to use a condom was not condoning pre-marital sex at all.  He quoted Matthew 10:16, and said that he would only be making his aware of what is going on.

Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

So, the discussion topic is this:

Would you trust the school to teach your kids sex education?  Are schools responsible for teaching proper sex education?  Would you teach your kids yourself?  If so, at what age would you do it?  How much would you teach?  Would you teach only abstinence or would you teach them forms of birth control?  Is teaching a kid how to use a condom condoning pre-marital sex?  What about other forms of birth control?  How do you interpret  Mattew 10:16 and does it have any significance to the topic at hand?  Is it wrongly taken out of context?

Let's hear some opinions... and discuss amongst yourselves.

Go!! 

 

Camping Trip, part 3

We woke up in the bitter, bitter cold.

 

The weatherman said that it was in the high 30s, but we all know that weatherman are always wrong.  By sticking my thumb in my mouth and then waving it around in the air, I determined myself that it actually 15 degrees. Factor in windchill and the fact that we slept on the ground, I was able to scientifically measure that it felt like -140.  That or thereabouts.

It turns out that we had burned all of the gray logs the night before, except for one.  Even then, it was rough because there was so much dew on all the logs from the lake.  I set to work right away, chipping away little shreds of the remaining gray log and feeding it to the last starter log we had.  I didn't even bother with the yellow logs, because we couldn't get those to burn the night before even when we had a real fire going.  So there wasn't a point. 

It wasn't much of a fire... I mean, what can you do with woodchips, right?  I'm not sure if I really cared at the time.  It was so stinking cold, that I just wanted to keep moving and not get hypothermia.  So I just kept cutting and splitting wood to stay warm.  (In case you didn't know, I get cold really easily.  I wear a sweater at work... in the summertime, because the A/C is too strong for me.  So this overnight cold really was tough on my body.)

Long story short, it eventually got going.  Never give up, never surrender.

 I look like a confused puppy that's just asking for trouble

And as soon as the sun came up, we were all in a much better mood.

Hooray sun!

We ended up having kielbasa, oatmeal and eggs.  We had a single remaining beer from the night before, so the infamous quote, "Beer and sausage: Breakfast of champions" probably came out at this time.  (But really... beer AND sausage on Sunday morning?  Shame on you!! I can see one or the other... but man, I hope you went to confession. =P )  Once we had food in our stomach, we started smiling and saying stupid things like, "This isn't so bad..."  And I guess it isn't, once you're not cold and hungry anymore.

Chris pulled out his ocarina and tried to go back in time.

 The talented and very beautiful, Chris Russo.

 

This time, with sound!

I just made faces.

The talentless, and slightly less beautiful, Albanberg

And then, we just started to pack and get ready for church.  Fortunately, the camp was only a 2 minute drive from church (10 minute walk), so we didn't have to rush.

Chris:  I'm going to head over to the bathroom and beautify myself.
Alban (romantically):  Oh Chris, you're beautiful already.  You don't need to do anything.
Chris (fake anger):  How can I radiate beauty when I haven't conditioned my hair in TWENTY...FOUR... HOURS!
Alban: ... Ok... we have offically gone crazy.

So we went to the bathroom, and I helped him wash his hair in the sink (gaaaaay).  He told me I was his favorite shampoo girl (super gaaaay), and promised to give me a good recommendation.  ...Great.

Let's see, what else?

I can't remember anymore, so here's another picture of some trees.

 Uh... hooray trees?

And then it was off to church... smelling heavily of smoke.

Which reminds me - I was sitting in church and a girl comes right up and sits next to me.  Normally, people leave a little bit of personal space between people, so I was surprised to have someone ignore the unspoken "one seat between strangers" rule.  Anyways, I was so self-conscious of smelling like smoke and wood that I kept on shifting away from her and leaning closer to the guy that was on the other side of me.  I chewed gum, did whatever I could to try to mask my smoky scent.  I didn't want to offend her, you know?

So after church, I see Russo, and he's talking about how great it is to be smelling like smoke.  And then he goes on to say, "If I could bottle up smoke as a fragrance and sell it, I'd be a millionaire."  I was stupified.  People enjoy smelling like smoke?  People enjoy smelling other people who smell of smoke?  I couldn't believe it.

So, I'm putting this out as a question to y'all.  Do you like the smell of smoke?  Would you like being around someone who smells of smoke?  Would you ever buy a smoke cologne for yourself or someone else?  Just wondering.

Anyways, that's it for this trip.  Next time, I'll post up something from the corn maze adventure.  But I'll leave you with this:  A picture that just screams, "Man was here."

This campsite has now been manified to the max.

This xanga is getting hijacked by ChrisRusso

You know, it's really starting to feel like Chris is getting a lot of face time on my blog. What's up with that?

Well, if you weren't already aware, mostly because Chris has been a)
too humble to post it on his blog or b) to busy to post it on his blog,
I'm going to have to do it for him: Chris was the featured artist
at Venue, the art-coffee house thing for college students, which is run
by our church. So since this happens only once a month, you could
feasibly say that he is the artist of the month. So what does
this mean? It means we get to see a lot of his stuff on display,
including photography, drawings, and we even got to hear a story that
he wrote. In between all that, he gave a lecture on how to train
the creative eye, described where inspiration for his art comes from,
and how to harness the power of the force. It was really quite amazing... although I don't know where he managed to farm and raise Midi-chlorians.

Anyways, I dont know if he got to take any pictures while he was being
toasted by the ladies, so I took the pleasure of taking some video for
him.

Here is Chris introducing the story he wrote:

And here is Chris reading the beginning of the story:

If you want to know what happens next, you'll have to ask him yourself.

I showed up fashionably late, as is the practice for such things.
As a last minute gag, I decided to dress up like a tortured artist so I
could bless his work while insightfully pointing out the pain and
torment of his soul. I also took a brick of charcoal and rubbed
it all over my face to pretend I actually could grow a beard. You
can tell me if you think this is a convincing tortured somebody.

The beard was good enough to fake out some people across the
room.  I have always thought that growing a beard is super cool. I
think it was up there with becoming a Ninja Turtle or having a 36"
standing jump.  I think this just clinches it for me.  It is
unfortunate that I simply cannot grow a beard at all.

As dark and gloomy as I dressed, I just couldn't hold it
in for long.  Within 15 seconds of entering the room, I cracked a
smile.  Within 45, I was laughing like a drunken hyena.  I
just can't hold it in.  Next time, I'll put more work to get into
character.

I have part three of the camping trip written and ready.  It'll go
live to public tomorrow.  So be here, or... be somewhere
fun.  I mean, it'll be Friday night... so why go on xanga?

Ok.  I'm tired and I'm going to bed.  Goodnight!