February 21, 2007
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It’s Foundational
The greatest need of the human heart is the need for love – to be loved, and to be free to love others. Receiving and giving love are the hallmarks of our humanity. In order to be whole as human beings, we must be able to receive and release love.
What is love? Many definitions can be made, but I suggest one that involves giving to someone beyond what one is getting in return. Love involves giving beyond oneself – it means putting another’s need ahead of one’s own. Love is the freedom to see beyond oneself in order to behold another, not as an object of personal need, but as one worth of love.
If we are honest, most of us have defined love in terms of our own need. We give to others based on what we perceive we will get from them. If another offers us attention or significance or pleasure of whatever kind, we will give in order to get what we need. Our commitment to care is deceptive. The appearance of intense and impassioned love may actually be an effort to ensure that what we need isn’t taken from us. What motivates us? Perhaps our need for love is greater than our freedom to love.
Another definition claims that: “Love is patient, kind, doesn’t envy or boast, is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” (1 Cor 13:4-8).
Many of us would admit that our love for others doesn’t exactly mirror the above definition. If anything, we become impatient, unkind, self-seeking and angry when our sources of love and security are threatened.
And they often are. If honest, we must admit that human sources of love readily disappoint us. Contrary to the biblical version, “love” fails us as frequently as it delivers, be it from a friend, a parent, a pastor, a spouse, a lover, an employer, a brother, or a sister. By “failure,” I mean that no one loves us perfectly; no one individual can bear the weight of our need for love. As we become aware of the other’s limited humanity, the illusion of love burns off. We see our noble pursuit of “Love” has been little more than a vain attempt to find security. And we are left alone to face our brokenness.
That is often the beginning of love’s freedom. Alone, we long for a love that is deeper and truer than what mere humans can offer us. “What a (wo)man desires is unfailing love” (Proverbs 19:22).
–Andrew Commiskey, Cross Current booklet, pg 1. Emphasis mine.
Today was the first night of Cross Currents. It’s an 8 week program at my church. I went through it the last time is was available in November, and it was an experience I will keep with me for a long, long time. I was asked to be an assistant leader for this time around, and I am honored to have that opportunity. When I heard the men in my small group share their testimonies tonight, I couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed and underequipped. I am the youngest guy in the group. I am the only one unmarried. And these guys barely know me. And yet, here they were sharing their life stories with me. Amazing.
It’s going to be a good golly miss molly of an 8 week ride.
Comments (7)
The group sounds lke it will be awesome.
ryc: I’m a grad student studying in Germany for the academic year (it’s half over! What?) and will be returning to the US in the summer/fall to continue my studies in German Lit.
You’re the only person I know who comes up with these funny rhyming words, like “good golly miss molly”. I must say I like them! Haha
Sounds like you’ll have a wonderful time ahead with your group! =)
wow. praise God for this experience!! can’t wait to read more about it.
i like the article, i’ve been learning to identify my “selfish” love.
does Cross Currents have a website??
That was a wonderful reading… you have a really nice, interesting blog here. And thank you for leaving that comment, it meant a lot to me.
I like that – thanks for sharing it. Out of all the life long lessons that God has taught (is teaching, ?), learning how to love as He loves has to be the most fulfilling. I’ll never love as He does, but, as your Andrew Comminskey pointed out, it’s really liberating to try.