@spokenfor - True!  There is beauty in imperfection.  However, what I am trying to personally address right now can probably be more accurately described as "glaringly awful flaws."  Should I reword the question with that phrase instead?

@ChrisRusso - I can totally agree with what you're saying. but my longest and happiest relationship (of 2.5 years) really wasnt that systematic. You know how they have that saying "Here are the rules: Numer One-There are no rules." My last relationship followed that. (of course its obvious that if he cheated his little "Friend" would be seriously damaged. he knew he could do whatever he wanted, he just has to face consequences..) and we shared a lot of spontaneous random fun times. But then later on in our relationship, the boundaries that you were speaking of, were being crossed the whole time. A person should know when to say enough. So even though there should be boundaries to make sure a relationship doesnt fail in the long run- nothing trully lasts forever.

-.-' Sorry if it doesnt make any sense, ive been up for two days straight and im starting to feel a little loopy. lol.

@GreekPhysique - How close do they have to get to you before they get xanga-cut-off?

@ChrisRusso - True.  It is a matter of degrees.  It is somewhat a matter of settling.  And it is somewhat a matter of holding out for hope.  Although there are some who may disagree with the idea of hoping for growth in a person because you ought to be happy with who you're with.

We are not who we were yesterday, and we are not who we will be tomorrow.  So how do you reconcile two people who may be in the same book, but not necessarily the same page?

I guess one of the two people better learn to speed read.

@One_Bad_Bizzle_827 - It's hard to imagine a relationship without boundaries.  What do you do if your significant other calls 4 times a night from 2am to 6am?  That's a boundary that is not only expected, but should be enforced.  What if your S.O. dumps all of his baggage on you but refuses to put down the video games to listen to you when you're having a bad day?  That's a boundary that should stand for both sides.

While these are extreme examples, there are lesser ones that become more important as a person finds out more and more what they want out of life and how they want to share it with someone.  Unfortunately, this sometimes means getting more picky, like Mr. Greekphysique and myself. Even more unfortunately, it means flying solo longer and longer against the dimishing backdrop of a setting sun.

Sometimes I think there is room for hope.

Other times, I think our time is running out and we better make a change in our thinking.  It's during these times that I am most compelled to write.

@Bokgwai - 

@Bokgwai - Definately. Even though, that relationship was the happiest i ever was, the break up was a complete and horrible mess (we dont even talk anymore.) My new relationship, we still do whatever we want. (he's overseas right now, so im stuck with the 4am phone calls, which i dont mind.. he'll be home next month.) I can understand nowadays about being picky, people want differnt things in life compared to years and years ago. I, myself, have to somewhat put my foot down and figure out what i want in a relationship. (The girly 50's me wants a guy i can get old with and have kids. But the 21st century me, wants to kick ass and not let any man keep me down. I dont know how i can manage both in the Marine Corp, but .. i'll find a way. lol.) Im a realist, but sometimes you just have to let the romance and blind faith alive. Sometimes. But thats just me, lol, still havent had any sleep yet, so im just completely rambling now. ^-^'  aahh...

Xoxo-

@padrinomiguel - Sure.  But let's embrace the broadness of the word "relationship."  This doesn't simply apply to a significant other, but to friendships, to managers, to mentors, to churches, and more.

There are very few relationships that we are pretty much locked in with forever and ever.  Family is one of them.  Best friends are a close second.  Almost anything else is on the table for discussion.

How much mistreatment from my manager am I willing to take before I decide that it's better to leave for greener pastures?

How much junk am I willing to take from my coworker before I request a change?

How much longer will I continue to learn from my mentor when I've reached the point where the cost outweighs the gains?

How much longer am I willing to stay with my church if I feel that it is no longer serving its mission?

How much longer will I continue investing in this friendship if my friend refuses to grow out of adolescence and embrace adulthood and personal responsibility?

These are all valid questions.  And I think that our mobile culture along with our disintegrating views on loyalty and commitment have changed the rules on what is and is not acceptable.

@smiling_spunk - Thanks for the comment.  Ponder some more and get back to me.  I'd love to discuss the many facets of this question.  As you may have seen, this question goes beyond the question of boundaries and begins to evaluate the importance of personal and group trajectory, belief systems and values.  This can be something as heartwrenching as leaving your friend behind in the bar because you simply can't watch him drink his life away night after night, or something as risky as Joe Lieberman walking away from the democratic party and joining the republicans.

There is no perfect answer.  I suppose I just wanted to engage different perspectives.

@Bokgwai -