September 19, 2006
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Meat sale
I’m at Wegmans, picking up some cold cuts for lunch. After I get my lunchmeat, I head over to the yogurt section to pick out a dessert. I’m comparing prices when suddenly, a woman appears next to me and strikes up conversation.
Woman: Are you on lunch break?
Me (noticing that she is mildly attractive): um… yes.
Woman (smiling): Oh really? What do you do?
At this time, my brain breaks off into its own discussion and I begin conversing with myself.
Alban 1: Dude! There’s a pretty girl talking to you. In Wegmans!
Alban 2: Whoa, this is really weird… Why do you think she’s talking to me?
Alban 1: Isn’t it obvious? She’s totally trying to pick you up.
Alban 2: Pick me up…in Wegmans?
Me (noticing that she’s still waiting for an answer): um… I work as an engineer.
Woman: Thats great. What do you do?
Me (Begin babbling about my job)
Alban 1: Dude, I read about it all the time. Chicks dig guys who shop around on their own. They think it means you’re responsible. She probably saw you checking out the yogurt and thought you were a healthnut.
Alban 2: Hmm… you’re probably right… Maybe that time I worked out last week really paid off.
Me (concluding): It’s really just a small, family run business.
Woman: Does your family own the business?
Me (shocked and flustered): Oh no… no no no no. I just work there.
Alban 1: Now you’ve done it. You’ve scared her off. You should have said yes.
Alban 2: You mean lie to her? I’m sure she would have believed me when she sees my car. Now wait a minute… we’ve been down this road before. Are you really sure she’s trying to pick me up? What if she’s married? Don’t you remember that time in Australia?
Alban 1 (aghast): Dude! Oh man… Check for a ring.
Alban 2: Check for a ring!
Me (Looking frantically at her hands)
Alban 2: I can’t see! She’s holding something in her hands!
Woman: Well, that’s good. Have you ever considered working elsewhere?
Me (confused): Um… I’ve considered it.
Woman (smiling): Great. My husband owns a company and we’re looking for people to join us.
Alban 1: Doh!
Alban 2: Doh!
Me: Doh!
Woman: What?
Me: uh .. I said, “oh,” that’s interesting.
Woman: (continues to babble about her husband’s company)
Alban 1: This sucks man.
Alban 2: I told you! You’re always thinking too far ahead.
Alban 1: Hey, it’s not every day that a girl talks to you. Emphasis on YOU.
Alban 2: True. I wonder why she picked me?
Alban 1: Good point.
Me (interrupting): So, how did you pick me out?
Woman: I like to keep an eye out for sharp people.
(thinks for a moment)
I look for intelligent people. You look intelligent.
Me: uh.. thanks.
5 minutes later, I’m walking out the store.
Alban 1: Hey, at least you got her number.
Alban 2: You’re an idiot.
Alban 1: You should totally post this on your xanga.
Alban 2: Haha..Now you’re talking…
Comments (20)
LOL um, this is 500 times better than my grocery store story, and I’m only exaggerating by a factor of 10
You do look intelligent, you know–it’s too bad it’s a TERRIBLE LIE! j/k 
And I love the Australia reference.
hahahahahahah. Weirdo.
haha that’s funnyy
that was quite entertaining. i specialize in CNS for the time being and i’m trying to assess your mental disparity… hmm. dissocative, dual, multiple personalities?
multiple personality disorder? ahhah.. or maybe schizophrenic… you’re scaryyy!!
. hahaha.. j/k 
-gRaCe-
lolx ur sillie. well if the job offer is good y not take it up? =p
Oh wow. So what, she was stalking people in the grocery store to work for her husband’s company? That sounds a mite suspicious. Be on the lookout for a scam.
well, at least you got ‘headhunted’. LOL
talking about yoghurt, a friend just passed me a yoghurt maker. can’t wait to try it out. =)
i laughed… i cried… it was better than cats. great post, my friend.
niiice job homie!! ^_^
as “suspicious” as the headhunter was in the grocery store, at least u had an interestin’ event @ wegmans. =D
wow, stuff like that just doesn’t happen to me anywhere. apparently i don’t look intelligent
Bwahahaha! Awesome retelling, man!
I wonder… did she tell you what sort of company it was? She might have been looking to recruit for her Quixtar base…
ChrisRusso: Her company is called 3D Marketing, with some motto of “Dream, Decide, Do.” A quick Google search reveals nothing. There is no company website on the business card she gave me. And her email contact is 3Dmktg@ltdkate.com. Seems impersonal and scammish to me. ltdkate.com looks like some small business, email provider. it’s not even a company email. It looks really small to me, whatever it is.
Stargal: if it really was a scam like sonnetjoy said, then don’t worry about nothing interesting happening to you while you’re out. The “intelligent” remark was probably a lie to hook me in, as Greek suggested.
ChrispyChris and Ocean_Floor: I have many, many issues. Multiple personality disorders is not one of them.
Sueisms: Talk to ChrisRusso about the yogurt maker. He’s been having some fun with that, and I think he has some good recipes.
Lastly, did no one notice my favorite line? “that time I worked out…. really paid off.” I almost died laughing when I realised I actually thought that in the middle of a conversation.
LOL
RYC: Oh, the grocery store story was the one about “single MEALS”, I already told that.
I thought of a scam first, too. Usually a scam will make you pay for the interview or try to steal your personal information. Don’t give them any, especially your Social Security Number, unless you are hired and want to work for them.
RYC: Maybe. *grin*
It was a typo on the webpage where I first saw the skirt, so all this time I thought they were broomskicks. The name never made sense to me, but most fashion things don’t.
Entry corrected.
hahah this is really funny! and hey, it might be a new job opportunity for you!
or maybe she just want to hook up with u and use the company as an excuse.
THAT WAS FUUUUNNNYYY! Wow, strange things seem to happen to you!
wegmans looks so tasty!!! too bad there’s none in CA!!